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nervous giggling

Monday, April 11th, 2011

A hyena freaking everyone out.

A hyena freaking everyone out.

I’ve been working on the Bestiary for Mazes and Monster but don’t quite have it ready. Since I’ve been thinking about monsters and madness, I did have this creepy – potentially horrifying – D&D idea:

When you’re running a gnoll battle, keep up an irritating nervous giggle during the PCs’ turns. (Did you know hyenas giggle when they’re overexcited or nervous?) Then, during the gnoll’s turns, while you’re busy rolling dice, get the other players involved. Have all the PCs, except the one getting attacked, cackle at the targeted PC. What will that do to the psychology of the person being isolated? What about to everyone else? I can imagine it creating a weird Stanford Prisoner Experiment vibe.

Luckily 4e turns are too short to do lasting psychological harm. PROBABLY!

Posted in 4e D&D, fluff/inspiration, RPG Hub | 3 Comments »

Synnibarr Sunday: evil mutant baby

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

“By the time Synnibarr was finished and ready to take off, the stellar storm was only 2 months away. But before Synnibarr could depart, a child was born whose heart was as black as hell itself. The young child was born a Mutant. Her powers were unknown and never fully understood.

After she was born, she aged to adulthood within 15 minutes. She appeared to be drawn, for no known reason, to the fusion reactor as a moth is to light. Once in contact with it, she attempted to draw and contain its power, but this proved too much for her abilities to handle; the resulting disaster almost forestalled the launch of Synnibarr.”

-The World of Synnibarr, introduction (page 2).
Excessively awesome passages are highlighted.

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Crossroads Adventures: stats

Friday, April 8th, 2011

I’ve mentioned Crossroads Adventures, the 80’s choose-your-own-adventure series. As far as I know, it didn’t have a D&D license. On the inside of my copy of “Warhorn”, it says “CROSSROADS Adventures are authorized interactive novels compatible for use with any role-playing game.” “Any role-playing game” is remarkably similar to D&D, because the Crossroads mechanics involve +1 swords, healing potions, and Strength, Intelligence, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom, and Charisma, all rated 3-18.

Each Crossroads book includes an essay explaining a bunch of gaming terms, including the six D&D attributes. The best part of this essay is that, unlike D&D, it explains each of the 16 possible values for each attribute, and for most of them, includes a real-life example. The examples are worth the price of the book. They’re pretty well thought out; they do a better job of letting you know what it means to have, say, a 15 in an attribute than does D&D. They’re also hilariously 80s.

Here are some highlights:

STRENGTH:
15 A top athlete or football running back [OR? Dis on football running backs?]
17 Changes tires without a jack
18 Wrestles Arnold Schwarzenegger and wins [OK, why not just peg Arnold at STR 17?]

The essay goes on to point out that an elephant “has a Strength of 23.” How do they know?

INTELLIGENCE
6 Curly (The third Stooge)
13 College professor/good quarterback [a lot of football in here!]
15 Indiana Jones/Carl Sagan
18 Leonardo Da Vinci (Isaac Asimov?) [Really? The author of the essay thinks that Asimov is maybe as smart as Da Vinci? I liked The Caves of Steel but let’s not go overboard here. Also, is Asimov verifiably 3 INT points higher than Carl Sagan?]

WISDOM/LUCK [Here’s where Crossroads becomes slightly incompatible from “any game”: it rolls “luck” into the Wisdom stat.]
13 Lee Iacocca
15 Captain Kirk (wisdom) / Conan (luck) [I take issue with both of these. Kirk, as far as I can tell, succeeds entirely based upon Charisma and maybe Luck. I don’t ever recall him making a wise decision.]
17 Sherlock Holmes (wisdom) / Luke Skywalker (luck) [Again, Sherlock Holmes’ skill is clearly Intelligence. And Luke Skywalker, luck? Apparently the author of the essay doesn’t believe in the Force. He thinks that hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.)

CONSTITUTION
15 Olympic Athlete/Sam Spade [Sam Spade? I guess he has a lot of constitution… I don’t remember much about the Maltese Falcon but I’m willing to believethat Sam got knocked out a few times and survived it.]
16 Marathon runner/Rocky [I agree that Constitution is pretty much Rocky’s strong point.]
18 Rasputin/Batman

DEXTERITY
13 Good fencer/Walter Payton [ah, more football!]
15 brain surgeon/Houdini
16 Flying Karamazov Brothers
17 movie ninja/Cyrano de Bergerac
18 Bruce Lee

A dexterity of 20 is possessed, apparently, by The Waco Kid. From Blazing Saddles. BLAZING SADDLES.

CHARISMA [This one is my favorite.]
7 Richard Nixon today [I wish they had statted Nixon’s Charisma at various points in his career. In China, 14! Jowly appearance vs. Kennedy, 8!]
14 Magnum, P. I. [Only 14???]
16 Henry Kissinger/Jim diGriz [one of these is the Stainless Steel Rat]
18 Dr. Who/Prof. Harold Hill (Centauri) [I have no problem with Dr. Who, but it never would have occurred to me to chart his CHA as 18. And apparently Centauri is a lovable character from the Last Starfighter? and Prof. Harold Hill is from the Music Man? OK, The Music Man is (arguably) timeless, but The Last Starfighter must have JUST COME OUT when this essay was written.]

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Posted in legacy D&D, news, other systems, RPG Hub | 3 Comments »

ozymandias

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

In honor of National Poetry Writing Month, here’s a monster poem in the tradition of the Monster Manual and Shelley and Horace Smith.

ozymandias

As I did tourist stuff in foreign lands
like stand on Giza taking polaroids
of camels; motor to Thermopylae
by autokinito so I could see
the place where, in 300, Leonoids
did beardly kill a man with crab-claw hands;
explore; find the Nile’s source; and so on,
I found myself in an expanse of sand,
a great inverted bowl of bronze its ceiling.
I can’t deny I got a funny feeling
when I unearthed this giant marble hand.
It had a plaque, which, rather like a koan,
forced one to re-evaluate the world.
“My name is Ozymandias,” it read –
and there was more along those lines – but here’s
the rub. ‘Twas not a visage wrapped in sneers
and trunkless legs, like Shelley’s; nor, as said
Horace Smith, a single Leg; but curled
fingers and a hand. Thirty fingers.
Plus we’ve seen at least three legs, from Smith
and Shelley totaled. What monster out of myth,
what spider god, what limb-discarding dread
was Ozymandias? … and is he dead?

Posted in fluff/inspiration, RPG Hub | 4 Comments »

Mazes and Monsters: magic charms

Monday, April 4th, 2011
This entry is part 31 of 34 in the series Mazes and Monsters

Gear up your Hanks with a chapter of magic items! Here’s the PDF of the full chapter.

Click to download the pdf.

As a sample, here’s a charm that, for sheer baroque old-school madness, knocks the Eye of Vecna into a cocked hat:

Graven Eye of Gellor. Level 8 charm. This is a faceted ruby with twelve faces. (It looks much like a d12.) On each face is carved the iris of an eye, along with a unique magical rune. To use the Graven Eye, you must actually put out one of your own eyes and put the Graven Eye in its place. From now on, you will probably want to wear an eye patch a lot of the time.

At the beginning of every day, a different face of the Graven Eye will face the world, and you will have a different power when you gaze through the Graven Eye. Each morning, roll on the following table:

Table 9-1: Graven Eye of Gellor
1: Eye of Understanding: You gain the benefit of Read Strange Languages all day.
2: Eye of Fear: You can make an attack on people in throwing range or closer. If you hit, they are Mazed (RONA 6). While Mazed, they fear you. They may either stand where they are, not moving, or spend their turn moving away from you.
3: Eye of Seeing: You gain a trait die on all RONA checks involving seeing or perception. Also, you can see invisible creatures.
4: Eye of Truth: When people are lying, you see them surrounded with a red haze.
5: Eye of Light: You can shine light from your eye as if it were a lantern.
6: Eye of Lies: You can change your appearance to that of any person or monster that is approximately your size. Whoever you change your appearance to must have the Graven Eye of Timor visible as one of its eyes. The change of appearance does not affect your abilities or the appearance of your clothes and equipment.
7: Eye of Change: For the entire day, whenever you go through a door you’ve never been through, you roll on this table (rerolling 7s), temporarily taking on a new power. Passing through the same door multiple times has no effect.
8: Eye of X Rays: You can see through anything within throwing range (walls, curtains, etc) except lead. This doesn’t let you see in the dark, so you can’t, for instance, see the coins inside a dark coin purse or treasure chest.
9: Eye of command: You can make an attack on someone within throwing distance. If you hit, you do no damage, but you may issue them a short command. They are Mazed (RONA 4). As long as they are Mazed, they must follow your order. The Maze ends when the order has been fulfilled. The attack will fail if following the order will obviously lead the creature to immediate harm. (Near future harm is OK. The Mazed creature will not stab itself but will insult a dragon.)
10: Eye of the Mind’s Eye: You may make any images or visions you want appear in the sparkling surface of the Eye.
11: Eye of Darkness: You are blind in this eye. You gain a weakness die on all RONA checks involving seeing or perception.
12: Eye of Flame: As an attack, you can shoot a fiery red beam from your eye. It can attack at bow range, but unlike a bow, can also attack people next to you. It does fire damage. You gain a Trait die on the attack roll.

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Posted in game design, legacy D&D, news, other systems, RPG Hub | 3 Comments »

Synnibarr Sunday: adventurers

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

“After the avatar rested, it teleported all the animals from Earth to the new world. It then selected 400 men and women and transformed them into adventurers who were gifted with special powers and abilities. Each class of adventurer had different powers, yet each class was dependent on the others for survival. It created these adventurers to defend the seeds of Earth from potential dangers.

During the generations of deep space travel, the avatar knew that radiation could possibly alter human and animal life. It also knew that an alien race could discover Synnibarr and attack. Therefore, to defend the adventurers, it created a well-protected city for them to live in and enclosed the Worldship in a Werestorm to protect it during its initial takeoff and while in flight.”

– The World of Synnibarr, page 1 (introduction)
Things that I expected to be game terms, but are actually world terms, are highlighted. Also Werestorm.

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Posted in fluff/inspiration, other systems, RPG Hub | 3 Comments »

Warhorn: a crossroads adventure

Friday, April 1st, 2011

Warhorn: A Crossroads Adventure by Diana Kramer


“My plan,” Harold explains, “is to use the temples of the mountain cults for shelter.”

Crossroads Adventures are off-brand-D&D choose-your-own-adventures set in the branded fantasy worlds of established fantasy authors. This one’s based on some novels by Lynn Abbey.

TEMPLES OF THE MOUNTAIN CULTS has such an old-school ring about it I’m tempted to look for it on The Acaeum. So many old adventures used that name structure: “Vault of the Drow”, “Steading of the Hill Giant Chief”, “Dwellers of the Forbidden City”, “Queen of the Demonweb Pits”, etc.

The phrase deserves better than to be casually dropped in an 80s choose-your-own-adventure and never seen again. It’s begging to be made into a published module – or, if not a module, at least some DM’s adventure. An adventure with a title that the DM repeats as often as possible, preferably with reverb. “OK, let’s begin session 2 of… TEMPLES OF THE MOUNTAIN CULTS!” “You light your torch and descend into the… TEMPLES OF THE MOUNTAIN CULTS!” “We can play Shadowrun as soon as we are finished playing… TEMPLES OF THE MOUNTAIN CULTS!”

The temples in the book turn out to be safe places to rest where monsters won’t follow you. Not in my temples. Mine are old-school dungeons; and in the course of TEMPLES OF THE MOUNTAIN CULTS, the cover of the 1e demon-idol Player’s Handbook will be shown as a visual aid at least once.

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Posted in fluff/inspiration, legacy D&D, news, RPG Hub | 2 Comments »

upcoming D&D books I’m excited about

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
  • Unannounced Feywild book: Despite its dorky name, I like the Feywild. It’s one of my favorite parts of 4e cosmology. A DM can introduce fantastic elements in the Feywild: even larger-than-life than the usual larger-than-life D&D stuff. Still, three years into the edition, it doesn’t have a sourcebook.

    According to the D&D release calendar, there’s something called “Heroes of the Feywild” scheduled in November. That looks to be a book of “player options”, though: not details about unsettling faerie courts, clashing cliffs, palaces in strange intoxicating clouds, jeweled beaches, and haunting monsters both beautiful and terrible, but classes and feats that you can give your PC. Lame!

    There’s a shred of hope: This year, “Heroes of Shadowfell” and “The Shadowfell: Gloomwrought and Beyond” are both being released. “Heroes of the Feywild” is at the end of the release calender. Maybe the next year will bring “The Feywild: The Court of Stars and Beyond” or some similar book.

    (more…)

    • Posted in 4e D&D, news, RPG Hub | 6 Comments »

    Maze Controller’s Guide

    Monday, March 28th, 2011
    This entry is part 30 of 34 in the series Mazes and Monsters

    The Maze Controller’s Guide section of the Mazes and Monsters manual contains a lot of advice, some of it sound, some of it very bad. Perhaps the worst piece of advice is

    If a player is becoming uncomfortable, terrified, confused, or frenzied, DON’T BACK OFF! Keep on challenging the player by upping the stakes in the fantasy. Don’t let a player leave the fantasy until they solve their issue! If players can’t handle it, they will freak out, flake out, or drop out. These are acceptable losses! You can’t make an omelet without driving some people mad.

    But hey, it doesn’t go much further than Dogs in the Vineyard.

    Here’s a section of the manual about designing Mazes:


    (click for a larger version)

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    Posted in advice/tools, game design, legacy D&D, news, other systems, RPG Hub | 1 Comment »

    Synnibarr Sunday: Venderant Nalaberong

    Sunday, March 27th, 2011

    “The powers of darkness had won the aid of the God of Time. This unholy alliance threatened to destroy the universe from the dread dimension of Shadarkeem.(1)

    (1) Shadarkeem is the birth dimension of the Gods. Only Venderant Nalaberong power works there. The Gods become mortals whenever they are in this realm, and no normal mortal can survive there because the dimension drains all forces, including the life force, except for God Power and Venderant Nalaberong.”

    -The World of Synnibarr, page 1 (introduction)
    Highlighted items have never been mentioned before.

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