coral is beautiful… but evil

May 27th, 2011

Needle by Hal Clement

Needle by Hal Clement

For a sci fi book about sentient viruses who possess humans in order to solve mysteries, Hal Clement’s “Needle” has a lot of specific details about the ecology of Tahiti.*

The protagonists – the human protagonists – are very aware of the dangers of the island. One of the worst is… coral??

Apparently there’s some sharp coral out there, and if you really gash yourself open, you can be in trouble. There’s also something called “stinging coral”. Huh. I always thought that coral was just something pretty to look at while you drowned because your snorkel was clogged with seaweed.

Let’s D&Dize coral!

DAGGER CORAL: Anyone who moves into or starts their turn in dagger coral will be subject to many stab attacks, as the millions of heat-loving organisms all decide that they want to start a new life inside the PC. However, dagger coral has a defeatist attitude and gives up easily. Each successful attack by dagger coral will be followed by another attack, on the same turn, until the dagger coral misses. Once the dagger coral has missed a character, it will never attack the same character again.

STINGING CORAL: Creatures who start a turn near stinging coral are subject to an attack that does ongoing poison damage. Furthermore, stinging coral is vicious. Every turn, the coral may add 5 squares to its area, as a Wall. It tries to extend itself to be adjacent to as many creatures as possible. Every hit on stinging coral destroys a square of the coral.

BRAIN CORAL: Because brain coral looks like brains, it is obviously psychic, vastly intelligent, and evil. It can telepathically communicate with any adjacent creature. Since a single brain coral can extend for miles, brain coral can provide a lot of information about the local area. Brain coral tries to exert dominance over other creatures, although it prefers threats of violence to actual violence. If angered, it can destroy its own tissue in a massive psychic attack; unaugmented it attacks Will, and does 1d6 damage and Dominates the subject (save ends). For every square of brain coral permanently sacrificed, the attack does 5 extra psychic damage.

* Are you sold on this book yet? How can you not be sold? That is a premise, friends.

buying a 10 foot pole

May 25th, 2011

It’s always struck me as kind of weird that a 10-foot pole was something you bought at a store. What kind of store sold it? A carpetry supplies store? An adventurer store, sold specifically for the purpose of tapping suspicious flagstones in ruins? Speaking of flagstones, could the 10′ pole possibly have been sold as a flagstaff?

1983 Basic equipment list.

1983 Basic equipment list.

The pricing of the 10′ pole has led to much mirth. The 10′ pole, unbelievably, made it as far as edition 3.5, where it sold for 2 silver pieces. A 10′ ladder sold for 5 copper pieces. The joke was always that for the price of a 10′ pole, you could buy 4 10′ ladders, remove the rungs, and end up with 2 10′ poles, which you could sell for a profit. Classic D&D economics.

The 10′ pole is also a classic disappears-while-not-in-use item, like a wizard’s familiar. My mind’s eye picture of a 10′ pole is of a guy probing the floor with a stick that is clearly 5 or 6 feet long. 10 feet is about twice as tall as a person! Someone carrying one around would really have to have it in one of their hands, meaning they couldn’t have a shield or torch in their offhand. How else would you carry it? Strap it to your back? Horizontally? You’d have to turn sideways to go through doors. Vertically? You’d have to duck or bow. It would totally prevent you from crawling through any network of twisty little tunnels, all alike.

Printable Mazes and Monsters game board

May 23rd, 2011

You probably remember sitting around with your friends playing Mazes and Monsters back in the 80s, but your mom threw away all your M&M stuff during the Tom Hanks Scare of ’82. And original Mazes and Monsters gamebooks are so hard to find on eBay! How are you supposed to play M&M retro clones?

Problem solved! I’ve lovingly restored the Mazes and Monsters game board onto hand-crafted free PDFs. Just print out two of each PDF and tape them together.

Mazes and Monsters board, bottom left and top right

Mazes and Monsters board, top left and bottom right


Between this and the Maze Controller’s screen, you’re just about ready to descend into a spiral of fantasy and madness. Candles not included!

Coming in a week or two: Paper-doll minis, suitable for Mazes and Monsters, or for any game system that features fighters, holy men, and frenetics.

rogue male

May 20th, 2011

Rogue Male by Geoffrey Household

Rogue Male by Geoffrey Household

Rogue Male is a spy chase story about an expert hunter and tracker on the run in Europe. Written in the late 30s, it might also be the first published story in the “What if you could kill Hitler?” genre.

A D&D adventure about sneaking around in the woods might easily devolve into a series of Nature checks. What Rogue Male brings to the table, and what you should bring into your skill challenges, is specificity.

Wilderness is not an undifferentiated mass of forest. There are swamps where a character might have difficulty resting, no matter what his Nature bonus. There are expanses of barren ground that you just can’t sneak across in bright daylight. A lot of skill challenge successes should actually require the PC to come up with a decent plan. Challenge PCs with specific situations, and require a plan of action, specific to the situation, before a skill roll is made. A PC who builds a raft to rest in the swamp, or hides in a wagon crossing the plain, gets to make a skill check.

If I were running a spy adventure as an extended Nature skill challenge, I’d also introduce some randomness. If I need to repeatedly come up with terrain off the top of my head, it’s likely to become stereotyped and nonspecific. I’d be better to make random charts for terrain and habitation: maybe we’ll roll up peculiar stuff, like a cabbage farm in the middle of the desert, but that will help us tell a story.

Christmas lights! Run!

May 19th, 2011

Fitz poses the question: “If your character encountered something like this while lurking about underground looking for something to kill and/or steal, what would be your immediate reaction?”

Sadly, most 4e adventurers would probably think “There are several of them, so they must be weak.”

Sometimes you want to step out of the 4e assumption that every fight is level-appropriate. Maybe an area is particularly dangerous. If you just spring a killer fight on unsuspecting players, though, you’re just being arbitrary.

Here’s one way to take a middle course: when the players wade into combat with the first light ball, they find that it is a high-damage solo monster. During the battle, the next-closest light ball might drift ominously closer, but doesn’t join the fight.

When the players stand, bloody but victorious, over the creature’s dying sparks, they look down the hall and see this:

Possibly now the PCs will start thinking about finding an alternate route.

holy water in Basic D&D

May 18th, 2011

In Basic D&D, Holy water is actually a much worse deal than flaming oil. I don’t know why I ever got it.

1983 Basic equipment list.

1983 Basic equipment list.

Holy water does 1d8 damage to undead creatures. Not too bad: in Basic, only a fighter could reliably do more than 1d6 damage with an attack, and only if you were using the variable weapon damage optional rules. Holy water is still potentially a good choice for a rogue or a magic-user faced with undead.

Flaming oil, on the other hand, did 1d8 the first round and 1d8 the second – twice the damage. Furthermore, it hurt nearly every creature, including undead.

Not only was holy water half the damage and more situational, it also cost 25 gp per vial, compared to oil’s 2 gp.

If I were to play Basic again, I think I’d at least double holy water’s damage.

Use this race/culture randomizer to make your campaign completely original!

May 16th, 2011

In my campaign world, the…

northern humans …dress… in standard medieval garb
southern humans all Renfest: the guys wear doublets and rapiers and the girls wear bodices and tricorn hats
elves like Mad Max: one shoulderpad each, and 1 in 10 guys wears a jeweler’s loupe
dwarves like French aristocrats: white wigs, cravats, beauty marks
orcs in Victorian/steampunk garb
goblins for the Arctic regions, but for some reason they all wear midriff-exposing furs and chainmail bikinis
gnolls like I Dream of Jeannie
mermen all sword-and-sandal
gods/angels in loincloths and tattoos, and use blood used as facepaint
demons like various incarnations of David Bowie

The Pusher: an epic D&D campaign for you

May 13th, 2011

The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Oct 1981

The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Oct 1981

In a used bookstore, I picked up the Oct 1981 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. It looked like it had some interesting stories in it, but it was stolen before I finished it, due to a car-door locking mishap.

Before it disappeared, I noted this passage from “The Pusher” by John Varley:

It was a wonderful tale he told. It had enchanted castles sitting on mountains of glass, moist caverns beneath the sea, fleets of starships, and shining riders astride horses that flew the galaxy. There were evil alien creatures, and others with much good in them. There were drugged potions. Scaled beasts roared out of hyperspace to devour planets.

This sounds like a great elevator pitch for an Epic-level D&D campaign. If you put every one of these elements into the campaign, I think you’ve got yourself a foolproof Best Campaign Ever.

It sort of seems to takes place in the same time period as Krull (which would also make a better D&D campaign than it did a movie).

Critical hit! On my Religion check!

May 12th, 2011

I figured out how knowledge checks fit into the 20 and 1 are magic rule.

If you roll a natural 20 on a knowledge check, you write down on your character sheet that you have expertise in a particular sub-branch of knowledge. From then on, you get a +5 bonus to all such knowledge checks. For instance, if you crit on a knowledge check about the Death God’s sacrificial rites, you write down “expert in Death God rites”.

If you roll a natural 1 on a knowledge check, you write down your ignorance on the subject (“ignorant about Death God rites”.) From then on, you automatically fail on any checks on that subject.

This lets you collect knowledge like treasure, and randomly fills out your character’s interests. It also lets a good or bad Knowledge check inform further ones.

flaming oil through the editions

May 11th, 2011

I just looked up flaming oil in my Basic D&D book. It did 1d8 damage on the first round and 1d8 in the second. Of course, it was more complicated than its watered-down 4e equivalent, Alchemist’s Fire: with Flaming Oil, you had to douse a guy with oil and then make an easy attack roll to set the enemy on fire.

1983 Basic equipment list.

1983 Basic equipment list.

Still, 2d8 was a lot of damage in Basic D&D. Keep in mind that all weapons do 1d6: variable weapon damage is still listed an optional rule in my 1983 Basic set. Even with the optional rule, oil’s average of 9 damage is the same average as a fighter with 18 strength and a +2 longsword. It’s enough, on average, to kill a 2-hit dice creature in one shot. It’s hard to compare, but in 4e, to kill a 2nd level creature in one hit would take about 40 damage.

There wasn’t much monetary inflation between Basic and 4e – a Basic sword costs 10gp and a 4e sword costs 15 gp – but Basic flaming oil costs 2gp. That’s a tenth of its cost in 4e. Cheaper and more effective.

By the way, I notice that the new 4e alchemist theme allows you to use a free alchemical item as an encounter power. That improves alchemy considerably.